Not My Ways, but His!

I know that I have not blogged in…well, a long time! I have a couple blogs floating around in cyber space, but it is time that I pick it back up. So, today I am choosing to start blogging again. Hello world, I am back!!

This blog is about something I have faced over the past few months and something that I have learned to appreciate. For those of you who are in the same boat as me, I hope my blog encourages you. Even if you haven’t dealt with this, I still hope you find it encouraging.

The past few months have been a challenging season in my life. However, without seasons of testing, enduring, persevering…how then is character built? How is faith grown? Seven months ago I graduated from college (majored in Communication & Government) and my book “Bullied yet Victorious” was released nationally in July of 2013. Before walking the stage at graduation, I had my life planned out. Honestly, they were ambitious goals rather than reality. I am a planner and a visionary person; so, naturally, I focus way too much on the future rather than the present. My plan was to have a job by the middle of August, my book would become a successful hit, I would meet the Godly man God has for me by October, and I would be on my way to being a successful career woman. Sounds like a great plan, right?

Boy, was my plan WRONG! After graduating from college, I enjoyed the time off during the summer. I was able to regroup and relax from the hectic college schedule that I endured for four years. First of August, I began the job search process. In August, I also contacted various ministries, Christian organizations, and churches informing them about my book. I also inquired about the requirements to speak at their youth groups. Since I want to be a full time motivational speaker, I also contacted professional speakers asking them how they started speaking. My book is about the bullying experiences I went through, but how God helped me to overcome. My heart is to share with my generation and the next that bullies don’t define their future, God does. They are created for a purpose according to Jeremiah 29:11 and wonderfully made according to Psalm 139. My heart is to encourage my generation (and the next) to be leaders and be all God created them to be. We are placed on this earth for such a time as this.

Days and weeks went by with no response from media, ministries, Christian organizations, and churches. Thankfully, the speakers I contacted responded back to me and shared with me how they got started. But churches? Pastors that preached from the pulpit that it is time for young people to rise up and reach out to this generation, being bold for Christ…couldn’t even help me! I received letters from ministries that said, “That is great what the Lord is doing but we have to decline from accepting your book…” or “We are excited for what God is doing, however we cannot help you…” or “Keep up the good work. We are excited for what God is doing in your life and that you overcame bullying. Unfortunately, we did not choose you to be on our program.” There were pastors that I gave my book to, who told me they were interested; yet, when I followed up with them, they treated me like an outcast. They totally dissed me. Very Christ like don’t you think? Days of rejection or flat out no response at all was overwhelming. As far as the job search, I have applied to several positions and have kept my eyes open for leads; but, have received no response.

So, here I am today-a college grad with no job, student loans approaching, single, and my book has not taken off. Sounds like I should be depressed right now, sitting in sweats, eating a tub of ice cream, and watching television all day-sulking in the fact my plan did not come together.

But, let me tell you, through all of this I have chosen to look at the beauty of this season in my life. I don’t sit around sulking. No, I choose to continue to dream big and know God is in control of my future. The beauty in this season is realizing my plans are not God’s plans, nor are my ways His ways. For that, I am so thankful. God’s plans are way better than mine, and I am glad that my plans fell through because that means God has even greater things instore for my future. Isaiah 55:8 says, “”For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.” God knew where I was going to be at in life before I even approached this season. If anything, this has caused me to let go of what I was controlling like my desires, dreams, and plans. Rather, I had to come to that moment of realizing, “God, not my will but your will be done.” God knew all about the job search process before it even came to be. I choose to believe that I have a purpose in this life according to Jeremiah 29:11-He has given me hope, future, and a purpose. All the “no’s” I have faced just means my “yes” is on its way.

As far as being in a relationship, yeah, October has rolled through and I haven’t met my Prince Charming… yet! And you know what? That is okay by me! I have peace knowing that God’s timing is perfect. In His time, I will meet the man He has for me. I can’t put a time frame on it; but, this I know, God is working behind the scenes on my behalf. He knows exactly what I am looking for in a man, and I look forward to the first time we meet.

If you are in the same boat as me, I want to encourage you to look for the beauty in this season of your life. I have found to appreciate the rest, working out, writing my next book, and spending time with family to be beneficial. Know that God has a plan and a purpose for you. You may not know His plan, but trust that He is leading you and directing your steps. Psalm 32:8 says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.” Dreams, desires, aspirations that you may be holding onto tightly, give over to the Lord and watch Him work things out on your behalf. I already have! 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “But as it is written: Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” All the “no’s” you may have faced, just know that your “yes” is on its way. Don’t give up, stay encouraged! You are closer to your breakthrough than you think.

God’s plans are not your plans, nor are His thoughts your thoughts. God has amazing things in store for you, the question is: will you let Him be in control? I don’t know about you, but I am excited for what the future holds because I know who holds my future.

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